A Feeling like this...

A Feeling like this… Always Wondering!
This is for my baby, Greg!  I love you so much! 

I always knew it would be hard, but I never knew it would be quite like this.

Days go by slower and slower, as the nights seem to get longer and longer; and I wonder where you are.

Are you safe?  Are you alone?  Are you in good health?  Are you scared?  Are you worried?  What all is on your mind?  There are just so many questions to ask the list just goes on and on, it never seems to get shorter; and I never seem to have the time.

There's no way for me to explain how I feel… all I can say is worry.  That is all I seem to do these days.  What you are out there doing is so heroic in my eyes, but all I do is worry about you and hope you come home soon.  While I sit here and think my heart starts to worry there are so many questions I need to ask I can't ask them all at once in such a hurry.  So, I sit and wait 'til that time has come when my phone rings and you're the one.  

I e-mailed you just the other day, which goes along with the e-mails I send you just about everyday.  I just wanted to see how you were doing, to tell you "I love you", and tell you about my day.  I wait for your letters, e-mails, and calls… but all is in all it seems so long since we've talked.
Finally, the day has come when my phone rings and it's you my love, what a delight it is to hear your voice.  How I have longed so just to hear you say you love me.  That is just want you do.   You whisper softly, "Babygirl, I love you!"  We only can talk a little bit longer; you tell me you are doing ok which makes me stronger.  I still can't believe you are out fighting this war, but you're doing what you love so what else can I say but I am here to support you one hundred-ten percent of the way.  I tell you, "I miss you" and you miss me too.  It's just so weird that I don't get to talk to you like I used to.  I'm counting down the days until you come home; as I think about it more and more the tears start to fall.  "I love you babygirl" you say once again, I tell you "I love you more, the mostest… and I know you grin.  You giggle and sigh because you know it ain't true; you seem as sad as me and what to come home too. 

Months go by… there's more months to come the silence hurts me as I wait for you to come home.  While I know you are out doing what you love to do; I still have many things on my mind about you as my day goes on through.  I am so proud of you baby, for what it is you do.  You are out there fighting this battle wanting to win, although at the same time your life could end.  That is a chance you are willing to take as am I, because I know you are fulfilling your dreams which make mine.

I always knew it would be hard, but never knew it would be quiet like this.

Days go by slower and slower, as the nights seem to get longer and longer; and wondering where you are is on my mind, but you know that is the price one pays when being an… ARMY WIFE! 

I love you baby! I'm always here, will never leave.  Please be safe and come home soon, because it's you that I long to be with my whole life through.  My dreams are coming true more each day that I'm with you.

This was written by me, Kayla Renee Chesser on 14 of August 2007 the day that my baby went out to do what he loves most in this world.  I am so proud of him and although I ain't an army wife just yet (lol) all army wives, girlfriends, fiances' and so forth all go through this one feeling when there soldier deploys and when writtin' this it just fit to put army wife at the end.  I love you baby, I am so proud of you!  Please be safe come home soon!  I love you!!!
Kayla Renee Chesser